1 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:44,388 Scramble! Scramble! All hands on deck! Emergency drill! Scramble! 2 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:51,193 Er, perhaps you didn't catch that - SCRAMBLE! 3 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:54,312 Yeah, great. With bacon and beans, man. 4 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:59,272 Look, Starbug's an inferno, the engine room's waist deep in fuel, 5 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:02,318 and we're being attacked off the starboard bow. 6 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:05,239 - Really? - Of course not really. It's a drill. 7 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:08,039 We're pretending Starbug's under attack. 8 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:11,596 And I'm pretending to scramble, man. Goodnight. 9 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:15,949 You've got 30 seconds or I declare you officially dead. 10 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:19,516 Good, then we can rest in peace. 11 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:26,315 Well, congratulations. Scrambling in a Red Alert situation, a new record time - 12 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:29,677 1 hour, 17 minutes, 39 seconds. 13 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:34,192 Not bad. We could get one sixteen without the fourth round of toast. 14 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:38,159 You think I'm a petty-minded bureaucratic nincompoop, 15 00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:42,791 who delights in enforcing regulations because he gets a perverse pleasure from it, 16 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:46,515 and in many ways you're absolutely damn right, 17 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:50,713 but, nevertheless, the only way we'll track down Red Dwarf 18 00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:56,000 is with a sense of discipline and purpose and, wherever possible, a sensible haircut. 19 00:01:56,520 --> 00:02:00,798 - I'm going back to bed. - Would it hurt to have hair like mine? 20 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:05,471 I have got hair like yours... just not on my head. 21 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:10,990 Well, I'm no stranger to the land of scoff. 22 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:16,837 Every major battle in history has been won by the side with the shortest haircuts. 23 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:21,670 - Oh, surely not, sir. - Why did the US Cavalry beat the Indians? 24 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:25,799 Short back and sides versus girly hippy locks. 25 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:29,794 The Cavaliers and the Roundheads - one-nil to the pudding basins. 26 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:33,350 Vietnam, crew-cuts both sides - no-score draw. 27 00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:37,358 Oh, for a really worid-class psychiatrist. 28 00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:41,439 Check your screens. I'm getting something up my left nostril. 29 00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:45,918 Scans are all negative. At the risk of challenging your olfactory excellence, 30 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:48,275 perhaps a re-smelling is in order. 31 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:50,829 I'm telling you, my nostril hair's shimmying 32 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:54,993 like a grass skirt on a fat Hawaiian hula-hoop champion. 33 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:58,072 - There's something out there. - Scan's still dry. 34 00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:01,630 That's it. I'm invoking Space Corp Directive 68250. 35 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:04,394 68250? But, sir, surely that's impossible 36 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:07,916 without at least one live chicken and a rabbi. 37 00:03:08,920 --> 00:03:13,198 - Forget it. Forget I was ever born. - Sir, I'll perform the ceremony, 38 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:18,229 but I'm bewildered as to how sacrificing poultry will help the problem. 39 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:22,399 Wait a minute. Major power surge off the port bow. 40 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:25,319 He's right. Some kind of vessel. It's uncloaking. 41 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:28,717 He's too close! That power surge'll toss us around 42 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:32,156 like sweat in an aerobics teacher's buttock cleavage. 43 00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:35,477 Hang on. Here it comes. 44 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:37,910 - Damage report? - Superficial. 45 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:40,878 Navicomp's down, slight rupture in fuel pipe 9 46 00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:44,749 and the headset's got jammed on the Country and Western Channel. 47 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,797 Second wave coming! 48 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:55,794 What's he thinking of, warping that close? Damn space hog! 49 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,753 That's a Space Corp external enforcement vehicle. 50 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:01,679 - What? - The space filth. 51 00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:05,316 A computer-controlled enforcement probe. It's scanning us now. 52 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:09,229 - Incoming. - Property Corp Space removing and 53 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:11,550 equipment Corp Space damaging, 54 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:16,157 ships Corp Space of series a looting with charged formerly are you. 55 00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:19,118 The materialization has scrambled its voice unit. 56 00:04:19,280 --> 00:04:23,398 It's making as much sense as a Japanese VCR instruction manual. 57 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:28,350 - Plead you do how? - It's in reverse. "How do you plead?" 58 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:32,633 - How do we plead to what? - It's charging us with looting derelicts. 59 00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:36,992 We don't loot derelicts. We just hack in and swipe what we need. 60 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:40,237 If this goes to trial, I demand separate lawyers. 61 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:46,151 What's the penalty? If it means outfits with arrows on, I'm committing suicide. 62 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:51,753 Er, no, sir. It means outfits with wings and halos on. The penalty is execution. 63 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,434 - Why so harsh? - It's frontier law, sir. 64 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:56,909 We're the equivalent of horse rustlers. 65 00:04:57,080 --> 00:05:01,631 Severe sentencing is the only way to maintain order. Don't expect mercy. 66 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:03,870 - What do we do? - We're as guilty 67 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:06,838 as the man behind the grassy knoll. 68 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:11,118 - Admit it, and it'll blow us out of space. - Recommendations? 69 00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:17,799 Suggest I take the rap and say I forced you at gunpoint to do my bidding. 70 00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:20,679 - Kryten, we can't let you do that! - Really? 71 00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:26,597 Dream on, metal trash. Get your hands in the air and step into that searchlight. 72 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:31,316 - Minute one have you. - No choice. Plot a course for scarper city. 73 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:34,677 Sir, it can easily outrun us. 74 00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:38,953 Kryten, the Eastbourne Zimmer frame relay team can easily outrun us. 75 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:41,918 It's not about speed. It's about wit and cunning. 76 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:45,556 - I hoped it wouldn't come to that. - Look at your screens. 77 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:49,508 We're near the Gelf Zone. It wouldn't follow us in there. 78 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:53,952 No, because Gelfs are scavengers with no regard for life, law or property. 79 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:56,913 - So we'll be safe. - You've heard the stories. 80 00:05:57,080 --> 00:06:00,277 They skin humans alive and turn them into beanbags. 81 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:04,149 Unless you want a triple-buttocked Gelf sitting on your face, 82 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:08,472 probing your crevices for lost biros, I suggest you rethink. 83 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:14,075 In the absence of a sane plan, I suggest we go with Mr Lister's. 84 00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:18,831 Seconds 20 in firing commence will I, reply a of absence in. 85 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:24,876 - Roughly translated, hit the reheat. - You don't have to tell me twice. 86 00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:27,031 Cat, hit the reheat! 87 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:30,317 Sorry. Guess you DO have to tell me twice. 88 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,230 Firing commence will I or halt! 89 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:37,318 - Bony butts our move let's! - Close comms. 90 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,596 - Comms closed. - Gelf zone six clicks. 91 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:42,997 - Weapon lock. Pulse missile launched. - Impact in ten seconds. 92 00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:47,034 - That's it. We're platform shoes, man. - Firing chaff. Firing flares. 93 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:51,358 - Brace for impact. - Missed us! 94 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:54,120 - Warning shot. - Won't be next time. 95 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:57,636 - Four clicks to Gelf Zone. - Another lock. 96 00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:59,870 - Incoming pulse fire. - Decoys launched. 97 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:03,828 - Six seconds to impact! - We've gotta shake 'em off! 98 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:14,198 We've lost it. 99 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:19,831 Sorry, I was looking at the wrong panel. 100 00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:26,712 Damage report? 101 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:30,475 It's bad, bud. Looks like Starbug's been hit. 102 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:34,832 - Details, halibut breath! - According to the damage report machine, 103 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:39,278 there are several small fires, lots of smoke and the navicomp's fizzing. 104 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:45,678 Oh, damn! Now the damage report machine's exploded. 105 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:48,235 - Another lock! - This'll finish us off. 106 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:50,709 - How far to the Gelf Zone? - Click and a half. 107 00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:55,237 - We've lost three fuel tanks! - Wait! I'm picking something up. 108 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:57,630 Got it. Putting it on visual. 109 00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:00,991 Look at that thing. It must be a mile across. 110 00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:04,675 A Gelf icon. It's some kind of warning beacon. 111 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:08,236 - Incoming message. - Kar nasa pinit. 112 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:11,631 - Wah twah morah! - Running it through the translator. 113 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:16,032 This is Gelf space. Death to the strangers. 114 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:20,591 - Pulse missile launch. Impact in 12 seconds. - Head for the eye socket. 115 00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:22,990 - The eye socket? - It's a dead end! 116 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:25,589 - Just do it! - Eight seconds. 117 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:29,236 - We're heading for solid rock. - Three seconds... two... one. 118 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:39,556 - Manoeuvring thrusters are out. - Infra-red reports 53 separate fires. 119 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:45,198 - Sprinkler systems are down. - There's no way to put it out. We'll blow. 120 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:51,157 Wait! Gelf moon bearing 356 by 121. It's got an ocean. Can you get there? 121 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:55,518 Does mouse shit roll? I'll get you there, bud. 122 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:12,992 Look at it. All our possessions, all our valuables. 123 00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:17,358 Between fire, flood and impact damage, we've lost damn near everything. 124 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:21,308 Well, at least Mr Lister's guitar survived intact. 125 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:29,637 Not even Mr Lister's guitar survived intact. 126 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:34,429 It's waist-high down there, but I got the pumps working. 127 00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:39,116 - Three hours and we'll be dry. - Thrusters, boosters, reheat - 128 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:44,308 auto-repair can fix everything, apart from the oxy-generation unit which is kaputzki. 129 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:46,829 So we can take off but not breathe? 130 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:50,913 - We can't repair it? - It's more charred than Lister's fry-ups. 131 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:54,476 Well, we're snookered... unless we trade with the Gelfs. 132 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:58,633 - Trade? You can't be serious. - It's our only option. 133 00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:20,954 Give me the arrow. It could tell us a whole lot about what we're dealing with here. 134 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:25,199 - Anything? - Yep. This came from a bow, all right. 135 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:28,397 Sorry. I was expecting more than that. 136 00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:33,031 As we anticipated, they are the Kinitawowi. Good. I have studied the dialect. 137 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:36,510 They are one of the friendlier "kinteteach" or tribes. 138 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:41,396 - Nice welcome! - It's a great honour to be greeted this way. 139 00:10:41,560 --> 00:10:45,269 They would kill us if they took exception to us. 140 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:49,752 - That's a very good sign. - It's a good sign they haven't killed us? 141 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:56,439 Absolutely. With the Kinitawowi, not skinning you alive is one of their warmest greetings. 142 00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:59,398 We are indeed "han hasset" or blessed. 143 00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:05,112 And, Kryten, you are indeed a "hachum babow", or smart alec metal git. 144 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:21,308 I'll say we are in search of an engine part and that we have rare treasures to trade. 145 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:28,033 Kinitawowi, nich niche histan kanoa nakoo bacoo. 146 00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:31,714 Nuyer neeal dol dager. 147 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:38,109 Look. Look what we got. We got Swiss watches. Nice watch. 148 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:40,271 Levi jeans! 149 00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:45,435 Hey! A hat. Look at this. Hey-hey-hey! Nice hat! 150 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:47,397 Cigar? 151 00:11:47,560 --> 00:11:50,313 Hey! Cool dude! 152 00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:55,719 I suggest caution, sir. Some Gelfs have their sphincteral orifices in their faces. 153 00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:58,269 Let's hope you haven't offended him. 154 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:00,431 No, he seems quite pleased. 155 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:04,112 We need an oxy-generation unit, savvy? 156 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:07,800 Ogigon bachoo machwahah. 157 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:10,918 Ah. Aleesa. Alees tada. 158 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:13,071 Cat, get the case, man. 159 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:19,035 Machu, aloo atu ba ba. 160 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:23,028 - It seems to be going well. - What is that thing? 161 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:27,910 It's an emohawk. A polymorph that's spayed at birth and half domesticated. 162 00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:31,430 It's trained to change shape at its owner's behest. 163 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:37,550 Like all polymorphs it's an emotional leech. It steals emotions from living creatures. 164 00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:40,320 Emotions are a highly valued trading commodity. 165 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:43,870 - The oxy-generation unit. - They're ready to fix a price. 166 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:46,634 We'd fixed a price with all the baubles. 167 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:50,475 That was just for the honour of entering their "watunga" or hut. 168 00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:56,954 - The bartering proper begins now. - Rah! Rec raht wig dic anatu pata. 169 00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:59,236 Oh, dear. 170 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:04,599 - What? What, you want my hat? - Ah nu dewka ana weg bah. 171 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:08,873 - You want my jacket? - No, sir. He doesn't want your jacket. 172 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:11,679 - Not my longjohns? - Not those either, sir. 173 00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:17,637 - Well, what then? - Ahg nu dewka ana weg bah. 174 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,876 Me? He wants me? 175 00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:25,910 Yes, sir. In exchange for the oxy-generation unit, he wants you to be his daughter's mate. 176 00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:29,550 That's his daughter?! 177 00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,959 One of three. Apparently, sir, she's the looker. 178 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:41,998 Tell him not if she was the last yeti lookalike in the worid. 179 00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:44,430 Come on, Lister. You've dated worse. 180 00:13:45,560 --> 00:13:48,552 Only due to very poor disco lighting. 181 00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:55,108 Ana beg ewitah ogigon nich kawal bah. 182 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:57,709 He says no wedding, no OG unit. 183 00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:03,876 Panta anag ew. Panta wa ah. 184 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:06,355 He's giving us five hanaka to decide. 185 00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:09,717 - How long's a hanaka? - Curiously enough, one Earth minute. 186 00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:13,913 Five hanaka. That only gives us 28 hours! 187 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:20,397 OK, let's get out our sheet music and play the Real Waltz. 188 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,949 I'm not visiting to Moss Bros 189 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:28,831 for anyone who is less attractive than my own armpit after 20 games of table tennis. 190 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:35,070 What about us? You can't hang us out to dry just because she doesn't hit your G-spot. 191 00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:39,119 What about sacrifice? Putting your friends' interests before your own? 192 00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:44,952 Rimmer, it would never work out. She's obviously an Aries. Me and Aries? Forget it. 193 00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:48,550 Sir, they are proud people and won't change their minds 194 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:53,271 unless you are prepared to stay here and marry Hackhackhackachhachhachach. 195 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,996 That's her name?! 196 00:14:57,160 --> 00:15:02,951 I could never marry anyone whose name sounds like a footballer clearing his nose. 197 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:06,948 The plan is we do the trade, you do the wedding, 198 00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:09,634 when everybody's asleep, we rescue you. 199 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:12,633 - What do you say? - Not a chance in hell! 200 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:17,559 Ana dok kaz, ana dok wah, hah. 201 00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:20,793 I do. 202 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:24,072 Ana zun keh, zun keh atta. 203 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:27,989 - What's he saying? - You may kiss the bride, sir. 204 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:30,151 What, without a bag? 205 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:50,439 Don't be strangers, guys. See you soon. Drop in any time... ANY TIME! 206 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:56,798 Hanibech yech, ogigon yech. 207 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:30,316 Well, darling... What a day. 208 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:34,029 I'm pooped. Straight to sleep for me. 209 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:41,069 Nee bonnen nic partin. 210 00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:44,598 Maybe in the morning. Goodnight. 211 00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:53,357 You've been looking forward to this. You won't take no for an answer, will you? 212 00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:55,875 Nack hey. 213 00:16:56,040 --> 00:17:02,195 OK, just give me a minute. I want to slip into something more comfortable - Starbug. 214 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:07,910 Change of plan! Leg it! 215 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:39,433 - Wait! Something's coming. - It's the emohawk! 216 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:43,434 - What happened? Where'd it go? - It transmuted into something else. 217 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:46,353 Suggest we proceed with extreme caution. 218 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:53,150 It's somewhere close. I can smell it. 219 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:55,515 It's the stick! 220 00:17:55,680 --> 00:18:00,674 No, it's not. Oh, God, I'm so jumpy. I thought it was the stick. 221 00:18:01,720 --> 00:18:04,109 It is the stick! 222 00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:07,195 - Where is it? - In the undergrowth. 223 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:12,516 Cat, you know what they're like. Stay on the case. 224 00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:14,875 Unbelievable, getting suckered like that. 225 00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:19,750 - 100 per cent concentration at all times. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 226 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:34,478 We're airtight. Damn thing can't get in now. 227 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:37,029 Just took a little bit of concentration. 228 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:42,758 How long before we can go? We don't really want a visit from Listy's in-laws. 229 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:46,396 It'll take an hour to set the oxy-generation unit up. 230 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:50,758 I suggest we take off and use emergency supplies until it's on-line. 231 00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:54,913 - What if it doesn't work? - The Cat and Mr Lister choke to death. 232 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:57,116 A plan with no drawbacks. 233 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:07,995 Time we fitted that OG unit. 234 00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:11,310 - Kryters. - I'm on my way, sir. 235 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:17,316 That smell is still driving me crazy. I gotta wash my hands. Transferring to auto. 236 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:51,312 It's stolen my cool! It's taken all my style! 237 00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:01,510 I need a mirror. 238 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:10,278 I got no grace, no �lan, no poise! 239 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:15,310 What's it turned me into?! 240 00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:18,551 Duane Dibbley? 241 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:22,517 Duane Dibbley?! 242 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:24,915 What is it? I heard noises. 243 00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:29,671 Look what it's done! It's turned me into the Duke of Dork. 244 00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:32,155 Oh, my God. Where is it? 245 00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:35,158 I lost it. It came in here somewhere. 246 00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:39,638 - Can you smell it? - The only scent I'm getting is spot cream 247 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:42,189 and dandruff shampoo that doesn't work. 248 00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:46,951 It could be anywhere. It could be anything. Trust nothing. 249 00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:49,111 It may have outsmarted you, 250 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:55,037 but it'll have to get up pretty darn early in the AM to outsmart Arnie J. 251 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:58,033 Is that a new gun? I've never seen it before. 252 00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:00,589 The gun! The emohawk's the gun! 253 00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:06,711 Phew! God, that was close. 254 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:11,914 I hope you're right, otherwise we just flushed away our only gun. 255 00:21:12,120 --> 00:21:15,430 Just leave the thinking to me, keyboard teeth. 256 00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:20,914 Lister, Kryten, Cat was right. We had the emohawk on board. 257 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:25,358 Lucky for you guys, old iron-butt was around to sort it out. 258 00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:29,638 That's weird. There's something wrong with this microphone. It's not transmitting. 259 00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:34,839 Are you OK, sir? 260 00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:38,077 It's removing my bitterness, taking my negativity, 261 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:40,595 slurping out all my snidiness! 262 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:55,436 It's gone now, sir. It's OK to come out. 263 00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:03,149 Well, looks like we both bought a bite from the little blighter. 264 00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:06,835 Let's track it down before it harms Kryters and Dave. 265 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:13,473 I'm afraid this means death for us, but it's a small price to pay to save our chums. 266 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:15,631 What a guy! Listen... 267 00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:21,312 Before we leave, I gotta change these clothes. 268 00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:27,715 If I don't get into some sideways-ironed flares and plastic sandals, I'll go crazy. 269 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:33,915 Do what you have to, old chum. I'll tell them we're having a party. 270 00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:36,271 What was that? 271 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:39,716 The hydraulic lock, sir. We're sealed in! 272 00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:42,155 It won't override! 273 00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:47,633 I've sealed you in, Dave. Me and the Cat took a nip from the emohawk. 274 00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:50,991 - It's on board?! - It's taken my bitterness and Cat's cool. 275 00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:56,154 He's looking so geeky he probably couldn't even get into a science fiction convention. 276 00:22:56,960 --> 00:23:00,032 - It's still on the loose? - It's in the obs room. 277 00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:04,472 - Well, let us help. - No one I'd rather have with me in a fracas, 278 00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:09,998 but you're the last human being alive, old love, and too damn valuable to risk. 279 00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:16,190 Only one way to guarantee victory - open the airlock, suck the perisher out into space. 280 00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:20,029 - That would also kill you and the Cat! - He won't suffer, Kryters. 281 00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:23,158 I'll snap his neck when he's not looking. 282 00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:26,153 He'd want it this way. 283 00:23:26,360 --> 00:23:30,353 But if we capture the creature, we could extract the DNA 284 00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:33,193 and re-inject you both, restore your personalities. 285 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:39,752 Too risky, Krytey. Anyway, I don't think I could face becoming... him again. 286 00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:44,516 Everyone has his limits. Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast. 287 00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:49,269 - What a guy! - We've got to save them from themselves. 288 00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:52,796 Their minds are totally distorted. The Cat's a complete yutz, 289 00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:56,191 and Mr Rimmer's, well... nice. 290 00:23:56,360 --> 00:23:59,875 Charge up the bazookoids. We'll blast our way in. 291 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:07,230 Ready, old chum? 292 00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:12,520 Just let me check. Thermos, sandwiches, corn plasters, telephone money, 293 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:18,232 dandruff brush, animal footprint chart and one triple-thick condom. 294 00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:21,995 You never know! 295 00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:27,550 OK, Duane, let's step into the airlock and get the plan underway. 296 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:32,111 - Oh, what plan is this? - Just step in there, Duane. 297 00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:38,196 So, what precisely is the plan? 298 00:24:38,360 --> 00:24:42,558 You'll find it more comfortable if you stand in front of me. 299 00:24:43,360 --> 00:24:47,797 - Why are we in this airlock? - Just relax, old chum. I'm sending you ahead. 300 00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:50,434 I'm the scout party? 301 00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:55,632 Dave, you crazy fool. We're saving your bacon. 302 00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:58,268 Don't sling your love spuds on the barbecue. 303 00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:01,438 Sir, we can tackle the emohawk together. 304 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:06,833 Yeah, one squirt of liquid dilinium will freeze it exactly where it stands. 305 00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:10,191 OK, fellas... let's go. 306 00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:18,555 It's lasered its way back to the engine rooms. Probably looking for you two. 307 00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:20,551 Let's go. 308 00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:32,950 According to the psi-scan, it's somewhere in this location. 309 00:25:33,120 --> 00:25:35,156 It's the barrel! 310 00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:37,834 Sorry. False alarm. 311 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,029 That chain. It's moving! 312 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:45,031 Sorry! Sorry! 313 00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:50,911 Sir, stay calm. You're experiencing a classic paranoid reaction to a terror situation. 314 00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:54,755 It's essential at this time that we... IT'S THE WALL! 315 00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:59,112 Shame overload. I... I... I... Sorry. 316 00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:03,910 This is impossible. How can we find something that can disguise itself as anything? 317 00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:08,631 - How can we lure it out? - Worry not, Davey. It'll strike soon enough. 318 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:16,992 Oh. I dropped my thermos. 319 00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:24,997 Er, excuse me? Sirs? Gentlemen? I think we have a suspect. 320 00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:31,074 I got it! I got it! 321 00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:35,199 Oh, it turned into a grenade, but I got it! 322 00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:39,154 - Toss it away, old chum. - I throw like a geek! 323 00:26:39,360 --> 00:26:41,510 Just chuck it. 324 00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:47,634 - It's gonna blow! - Leave this to me, Davey boy! 325 00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:53,276 - Smoke me a kipper, I'll be... - Freeze it, Davey boy! 326 00:26:56,360 --> 00:26:59,670 Sir, how did you know about your hard light drive? 327 00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:02,752 Didn't, Kryters. Just trying to protect you chaps. 328 00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:05,554 Well, sir, better get you back to normal. 329 00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:11,909 Can I stay like this for another 24 hours before I become that ghastly maggot? 330 00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:15,868 It's the least we can do. Would you like to stay as Duane? 331 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:19,635 Suck my thermos! I hate being the prince of dorkness. 332 00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:22,633 You never know the next clutzy thing... 333 00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:26,518 What a Dibbley! 334 00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:33,191 there's no kind of atmosphere 335 00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:36,511 336 00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:39,911 337 00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:42,719 338 00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:46,589 339 00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:49,991 340 00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:53,311 341 00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:56,677 342 00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:59,479 343 00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:03,428 344 00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:06,398 345 00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:10,439